Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Senior Picture Shopping!!

Eek!  So excited to be heading to Minot for the day with Emily!!  Going to look for some new clothes for her senior pictures.  So much fun to spend time together.  ❤️❤️❤️  Grace was so sweet and offered to watch the rest of the kids for the day so we could go do this.  Love that girl so much, too!

 

Saturday, April 2, 2016

My Book List

In my "younger days" I would buy a book, read it, and then move on to the next one.  Somewhere along the line I got tired of reading books.  I had read so many homeschooling books and parenting books that I simply got tired of it.  I quit reading for a quite a long time.  If I tried I would get a chapter or two in and I got bored and quit.  I've recently been inspired to read more and learn more once again.  My Thomas Jefferson Education books are probably to blame for that!!  Now I have a new problem!  I have so many books I want to read that I can't finish a single one because I move on to a different one!  So today I piled my current books up and oh my...I have ten books I'm working on!!  Yikes!  I wonder if I will ever finish a single one of them?!  I do have to say though, right now I am focusing on only three of them.  The "Stop Self-Sabotage" I am reading for work.  I am also doing some training for work with phone calls with the author so this one is high priority and will get finished.  But I am sure it is one I will be reading over and over again.  It's been so great not only for my work life, but for my personal life.  It's definitely making me face up to a lot of my personal issues.  So good for me.  The second book I am working through is Volume One of the Thomas Jefferson Edcuation book.  Josh and I are both reading this at the same time.  Trying to do a chapter at a time and discussing it.  This is an educational theory that we are so excited about implementing in our household.  I believe it will be life changing for us as a family.  Very excited about that!  The third book I am focusing on right now is "Simplicity Parenting".  I read about it in an article online and shortly after that a friend posted that she had read it and enjoyed it.  I just received it and started reading it a few days ago.  I'm very excited about simplifying many things in my life.  Especially for my kids.  I want to create a calm, safe, and loving environment for them where they can enjoy being kids and learn naturally and not be stressed.  I also want the low-stress part for myself.  The rest of the books are kind of on the back burner for right now.  I delve into a chapter here and there, but I am mostly focusing on the three I mentioned.  I am not sure why my reading habits have changed so drastically.  But I guess it's ok?  How about you?  What's on your nightstand right now?  Do you read all the way through a book and then start another one?  Or are you like me and you have a whole pile of them just waiting to be devoured??  

Anxiety

Anxiety...do you have it?  I do.  I'm just coming off of a major panic attack right now so I decided to blog about my anxiety.  What caused it this time?  I'm not exactly sure.  I just got off the phone with Josh and we were talking about some anxiety inducing things, haha. But nothing I felt bad or worried about.  At least I didn't think so.  But I guess maybe subconsciously it affected me more than I realized.  I got off the phone and all of the sudden my chest felt heavy, it became very hard to breathe, and I could feel the tears in my eyes.  Poor Grace was standing there wondering what was wrong and I was trying to explain that nothing was wrong really, I was just having an anxiety attack.  Really nothing was wrong.  I was not upset about anything.  Not worried about anything.  It's so confusing trying to understand sometimes what causes these attacks.  I haven't had one this bad in a long time.  Fortunately now I have a medicine I can take when I have one that helps bring it down.  I went and took a pill and laid down until my body calmed down.  

It wasn't until about a year and a half ago that I realized that I had anxiety.  I knew I had something wrong with me when I had these attacks, but I never realized it was anxiety.  I guess until another family member started to describe her anxiety attacks I didn't know that is what I was having.  It was such a relief to finally have a name for what was going on with me.  Once I realized what it was I was able to look back at my life and see many times where I had an anxiety attack but just thought I was a little on the crazy side!  

One particular time that came to mind right away was a family wedding.  I was pregnant with number four at the time and very sick with pregnancy, as is the norm for me.  I was so overwhelmed.  So extremely overwhelmed.  I was sick and trying to manage getting kids to the hair salon, and dresses ironed, and other kids hair fixed, and just so many other things I can't even remember.  Well I was trying to manage everything and keep my super cool super mom image up, hehe.  By the time we got to the reception my body and mind were done.  One dirty look and a couple rude words from one person and I was DONE.  Seriously, DONE. I knew the tears were coming so I left quickly.  I thought I could go for a walk and calm down.  But nothing was helping me.  I couldn't go back in.  I ended up going back to the hotel room by myself.  It's crazy when I look back on it.  It was awful.  My emotions were out of control.  And at the time I couldn't figure out why.  It was only later that I could see how much stress I was under and how that is what caused it.  So I laid in bed at the hotel and seriously cried straight through until 2:00 in the morning when Josh came back.  Uncontrollable sobbing.  For what I thought was no reason.  I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and I why I couldn't stop crying.  I couldn't sleep.  Nothing.  Now that I know what I know about anxiety, I can totally see that it was a massive anxiety attack.  Oh if only I had known then what I know now.  If only I could have had the medicine I have now.  But I didn't even realize until recently that that was an anxiety attack.  

There are more times, but that is the major one.  Another attack I had was when we first got into Wisconsin on one of our big family trips.  We were driving along this beautiful two lane road right along side a curving river.  Huge trees towering over us.  An absolutely beautiful drive.  But I started to panic.  Massively.  All of the sudden I felt trapped.  Like I would never get out.  I needed to see the sky and be out in the open!!  Then the tears started.  Not crying really, just tears flowing like crazy.  I seriously didn't know what to expect of Wisconsin, but I knew I could not handle this for five days!!  Thankfully it wasn't too terribly long before we came to a clearing at the top of a hill and I could finally breathe again!  I don't have issues in the mountains at all so it was strange how much this bothered me.  I think it isn't so much the towering trees and such, but more of the fact that I didn't know if I was ever going to get out of it!  

So those are a few of my anxiety issues.  Not really sure why I feel the need to share.  Not really even comfortable posting these things that are so personal.  I guess I just want to be honest.  Although my life is lovely and I am so blessed, I think it's important to share the real stuff.  The not so pretty stuff.  Because I think we all have it and I think it's ok.  

Feel free to comment and share if you have anxiety too.  

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Grocery Shopping...Ugh

Grocery shopping is a serious issue for me.  I just don't get what my problem is sometimes.  You would think that after almost 22 years of married life and doing all of the grocery shopping and cooking that I would have this down to perfection.  But no, I'm not even close.  Here I sit once again needing to go to the store.  Instead I am analyzing my issues and blogging about it!!  How is that for procrastination.  I've needed to go to the store all week. Or maybe more like for a couple of weeks now.  But I get hung up.  First of all I need to make an exact menu and grocery list.  That right there stops me.  I don't like thinking about it that much and I don't always feel like doing it.  I know I should just schedule it into my week and make it a habit.  But I'm finding that nothing in my life goes according to a schedule.  So should I go without a list and just buy a whole bunch of food??  Maybe.  But it never fails that when I get home I am still always missing this or that item needed to make a certain meal.  My second issue, which I just figured out today, is that it makes me sick to go grocery shopping.  It always has since the beginning of our marriage.  Money was so tight and I had to be so careful.  No matter how careful I was though, I could never seem to stay within our budget.  For a while there Josh had a great paying job and all of the sudden I didn't really have to worry so much about the cost of our groceries.  Now that was nice!  But you know it took me a really long time to get over the anxiety of grocery shopping.  It also took me a while to realize what it was that always made me feel sick at the checkout.  Once I realized that it was the fear of the cost of the groceries, I was able to learn to not feel like that all of the time because we could actually afford it!  But now here we sit back to square one.  Money is tight and groceries are more expensive than ever.  I hate grocery shopping again.  Massively.  But yet all the people in this house like to complain about how there is never anything to eat.  So today I am going to the store with no menu and a list of needed things.  I am planning to buy A LOT of food.  Everything I could possibly need to feed these crazy monsters that live here.  But here's the deal...I'm not going to look at or hear the total.  That's right, I'm going to ignore it!!  I'll deal with it when Josh goes to pay the credit card bill!!  🙈🙉

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Off To Arizona

We are on our way to see my parents in Arizona!  It should be an interesting trip. Seven kids from 16 down to 10 months. It should be a very interesting trip. 

Stats so far:

-We left 30 minutes late. Not bad!
-Lydia has been in trouble a lot. Yelled at once already. I swear we were only ten miles along the first time she asked if we were almost there. 
-Lydia told Levi he is not the boss. Then we listened to Levi tell Lydia over and over again that he IS the boss. 

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Summer Fun In The Pool!

I think we made the best purchase ever this summer!  We bought an above ground pool for the backyard.  The kids swam almost every afternoon!  They all became so comfortable in the water by the end of summer.  We had friends over to swim.  We had cousins over to swim.  Grace and Sophia went out in the evenings and swam together.  Josh and I swam with the kids.  It was just so much fun!  Here are some pictures of friends and family enjoying the pool:








  





I know I have more pictures but they must be on my phone!  So I'll post more later.  

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Arthur - Eight Months




Ah my sweet little Arthur.  Looking back now I realize I could have been a good mom and put a blanket down for him and he probably would have been much happier for his pictures!  At least Dolly could cheer him up momentarily!  Arthur just loves Dolly and Dolly, as always, is so good with babies.  They can pull his hair or climb on him and pinch him and she doesn't mind a bit.  Best.Dog.Ever.

At eight months Arthur has four teeth.  He was sleeping through the night, but now gets up at least once for a bottle.  He is crawling, mostly on all fours.  It's so funny to watch him and see how fast he can move when he really wants something.  Sophia is his favorite right now and often times he will choose her over me!  He hates baby food but will eat a little bit of it.  He gags on most other things, like crackers.  He is just a little love bug!!